I restore the equilibrium of my bioenergetics

Friday 1 March

... in other words, I have an Ayurvedic massage (wording borrowed from promo leaflet). But the sea is also pretty restorative. I feel like Jacques Tati's Monsieur Hulot (my fave 50s comedy film) as I look out of my window across the bay and breathe in deeply, wondering what what can possibly befall me today. I swim at 8, when the yoga students are already out in force flexing their biceps, then breakfast at Tuman's Restaurant (with working wi-fi) next to my guesthouse. On the basis of "try anything once", I have resolved to give massage a go. It's high on the must-do list in the Rough Guide (and the smooth ones too), so I decide on a tentative approach by agreeing to a head massage with a hint that neck and shoulders might also benefit if they could throw them in too (ever one to bargain). After all, "To relax mind and body, is good feeling and relaxation get," as the brochure also states. 

My masseur Radish (Radesh?) is all gentleness and charm, and, by stages I seem to be agreeing to more and more items from the salon menu. Perhaps inevitably, we end up with the "full body" treatment. This indeed "is good feeling", but it must be admitted is not for the inhibited or the prudish. I realise something's up when Radish bolts the door from the inside! But by the time (not quite) every part of my body has been rubbed, pressed, squeezed and caressed with scented oils, I am perhaps a little less inhibited and prudish than for my previous 63 yrs. 10 mos. Which has to be a good thing.

[Since writing the above, one of my "followers" (incredibly, they do exist) has been in touch to ask if I was too embarrassed to mention how much I paid for Radish's service (so to speak). Had it cost an arm and a leg? Well it did - two of each, plus a back, a chest, neck, a couple of feet and a pair of buttocks. The sensible answer is Rs. 1000, say £12. My haggling skills must have deserted me.]

My end of the beach. Hill Top is at the top of he steps (right)

After which, I take the rest of the day in the slow lane (the reason for coming here, after all). I meet Katriona to explore the shops further along the Ridge and have a bland "thali" lunch at a place like an African safari lodge minus the animals. Then another swim and more beach time to work up a bit of a tan so Norfolk people know I've been away. On my return, the hotel manager offers me a free dental check-up at 5.45. Is it my ayurvedic smile? I decline - I've had enough probing for one day - but promise to read the "six golden rules to avoid dental caries" leaflet he gives me instead.

This evening, meet up with K again for a meal at the ABBA restaurant, which serves Swedish food (amongst others). I have fish and chips, K has Lasagne. Very Swedish. But at least we can get cocktails and beer. My netbook has been invaded by a colony of tiny ants that keep popping out of its every orifice. I hope they won't make the letters all jubmeld pu.